Just need a place to share

Guess everyone had stopped visiting my blog.

I m really in a bad shape few days back before my last paper.

I really need my close friend just to be there w/o requesting.

Suppose to meet on thur but ended up din meet due to some reason.

Suppose to meet on fri and she gave the same reason, I knew it because i know v

well that she dont feel like gg out. As usual, i m gg to act tt I m okay and is okay

not to meet. I gave up and pls take all this away. Pls friend, I dont hv a strong heart n

I dont need anyone to do anything only after I ask. I just need a friend tt I can lean on when i needed badly. Is tt really hard ??!!

VIVIEN NG IS REALLY NT OKAY :(

random thoughts

I have been driving my friend's car if she doesnt want to drive. After driving I will reflect the way I drive. One day I need to send her mom home cause she is not feeling well. At the beginning her mom like feeling uneasy and of course I also stress. I made a few mistake and I think i really scared her mom. I have been thinking and I think I am over confident. I need to be a safety driver and know that there is room for improvement.
I have been thinking why cant I be a little selfish and treat myself a little better. Can we forget those ppl that hurt u before ??!! What more can I give ??!! I started to feel that I need more time alone. Hai ... in a confused state !!!!

A day out !!

Happy Blessed Bday my dearest friend.

I was driving on the rd all by myself without my bro besides me. I borrowed my sister's car cause yesterday was my dear friend bday. I drove all the way down to town to get her cake and the traffic was really bad. Is worth it cause everyone said the cake was nice. Then drove to collect food from Jurong then headed to her place for celebration.

My 1st time

• driving out alone
• driving to orchard
• 4 passengers in my car
• drive my friend's parents home.

My achievement for the day. I can sensed the different btw driving alone and driving with friends in the car. Everyone is ok with my driving and thanks God for journey mercy. I pray before I drive out alone.

Coming to another stage. ....

I didn't go ECP yesterday due to the rain. Today I woke up early, get ready to go ECP alone. When I reached there, I find a place to settle down then I took out a book and started writing about a few issues. As for every issues I end with a prayer that God will bless every each of it.
I am feeling better each day and not dwelling on the things that I cant changed.

PS: Thanks Yvonne for making the effort to call and listen to my thoughts. You are a great DGL :)

PS: Thanks Suet for listening and reassure me in those area that I have doubts in.

PS: I really hope that this friendship will work out and I really really cherish this bond. To my dearest friend I just don't have the heart of giving up.

Pull me

I am blogging again. I can't bed. Once I close my eyes my brain juz cannot stop thinking. I want to rest but I juz cant. Who can I share with ? Where is all my closest friends ? How I wish I cn get into relationship to be loved by someone. Let me be the selfish one cause I m tired of loving someone. Suddenly I feel like gg for a trip all by myself but I dont have the courage to travel alone. I am v sian, super sian. Wht happened to me !!!! Where am I now?????? Pull me out..........................................................................................................

Moving On

I am so much better today.

Trusting that Jehovah is still God.

Trusting that God will make a way for me when there seems to be no way.

As for the pain, to be frank I am still feeling the pain cause this time is really a hurtful one.

I am going to ECP tomorrow to spend this time alone with God. A time for me to reflect and let go things that I cannot control.

A tiring soul

A recovering soul

Vivien

A LONG N TIRING DAY

Over is over. I have a feeling that I will fail badly for econs and banking and finance paper. I dont even know what am I doing throughout the exam. I felt helpless, really helpless.
My eyes were so heavy after thur paper but I controlled so hard until something happened which I really can't hold back anymore. I felt so painful, really painful. The pain which hurt deep in my heart. I decided to walk to MRT station from church which took me 3/4 hr i guess. With no direction,no planning I felt so lost while walking to station.
If you ask me what I need at tt moment, I needed a friend to be at my side so badly.
Is painful, really v painful. I felt rejected, push away, once again I felt so helpless.
I am feeling so helpless, so painful, so lonely but I still care so much abt how you feel and how I wish I can do so much for u.

Suet: I know you don't know what to say to me and you are busy too tt is why I didn't call/sms you. Thanks for everything.