Coming to another stage. ....

I didn't go ECP yesterday due to the rain. Today I woke up early, get ready to go ECP alone. When I reached there, I find a place to settle down then I took out a book and started writing about a few issues. As for every issues I end with a prayer that God will bless every each of it.
I am feeling better each day and not dwelling on the things that I cant changed.

PS: Thanks Yvonne for making the effort to call and listen to my thoughts. You are a great DGL :)

PS: Thanks Suet for listening and reassure me in those area that I have doubts in.

PS: I really hope that this friendship will work out and I really really cherish this bond. To my dearest friend I just don't have the heart of giving up.

Pull me

I am blogging again. I can't bed. Once I close my eyes my brain juz cannot stop thinking. I want to rest but I juz cant. Who can I share with ? Where is all my closest friends ? How I wish I cn get into relationship to be loved by someone. Let me be the selfish one cause I m tired of loving someone. Suddenly I feel like gg for a trip all by myself but I dont have the courage to travel alone. I am v sian, super sian. Wht happened to me !!!! Where am I now?????? Pull me out..........................................................................................................

Moving On

I am so much better today.

Trusting that Jehovah is still God.

Trusting that God will make a way for me when there seems to be no way.

As for the pain, to be frank I am still feeling the pain cause this time is really a hurtful one.

I am going to ECP tomorrow to spend this time alone with God. A time for me to reflect and let go things that I cannot control.

A tiring soul

A recovering soul

Vivien

A LONG N TIRING DAY

Over is over. I have a feeling that I will fail badly for econs and banking and finance paper. I dont even know what am I doing throughout the exam. I felt helpless, really helpless.
My eyes were so heavy after thur paper but I controlled so hard until something happened which I really can't hold back anymore. I felt so painful, really painful. The pain which hurt deep in my heart. I decided to walk to MRT station from church which took me 3/4 hr i guess. With no direction,no planning I felt so lost while walking to station.
If you ask me what I need at tt moment, I needed a friend to be at my side so badly.
Is painful, really v painful. I felt rejected, push away, once again I felt so helpless.
I am feeling so helpless, so painful, so lonely but I still care so much abt how you feel and how I wish I can do so much for u.

Suet: I know you don't know what to say to me and you are busy too tt is why I didn't call/sms you. Thanks for everything.

........

I had just finished my 2nd last paper which is banking and finance paper. I am quite sure that I will not make it for this paper ----> FAILED!! If i pass is really God's grace. I didnt sms anyone to share with them how i feel cause I know what they will tell me. If you ask me, deep inside me I am really upset and really feel like giving up. After going through this period of exams stress, I find myself going back to what I used to be 4 or 5 yrs ago. I don't feel like sharing much with ppl but to God I tell my deepest thought.
I am quite silly now to think who is a friend that I can turn to and cry ? I really cannot find one. Haha. Ok enough I am getting emo. Will get back to notes ..... Jia You ba VIVIEN NG !!!!!

God being my pillow of strength

Finally reaching the last point of yr 1 in uni. I had just finished stats paper and maths 2. Both stats 1 and 2 papers are ok, at least I think there is still chance to do well. As for Maths 2, I don't have confident that I will do well but pass should be ok ba. I am preparing my Banking and Finance paper now. I really dislike modules that required me to write and remember like mad. I will try my best to squeeze everything into my tiny brain and vomit everything that I could remember during the paper. I still left with 2 papers which will be on thur and fri. I deserve a gd break after everything and I pray that I dont have to repeat any modules.

At this point of time, what do I need most ? Time to study, energy to sustain through every papers, support from friends and God being my pillow of strength :)

Just some thoughts. Action is always louder than words but is it something our words come faster than action. Words are easy to be said but action is hard to act and tt results to misunderstanding is it ?

Ok i will end here and wil catch up with my friends after my exams. Looking forwards !!! I am gg to return to my lecture notes again !! Haha